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.P  O  I  S  O  N.


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I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name. . .

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He would always recognise his scent. It was as frustratingly loud as the rest of him—boastful of power he had no right to claim. His entire belligerent existence trapped in a breeze that was tangy with sweat and vaguely laced with the scent of the earth, touched with that unmistakable trace of youki, drowning in the bubbling river of human-tinged blood.

Inuyasha.

Sesshoumaru watched him, swinging his father’s legacy with the same angry exuberance as a child might fling a toy—and that was all he was, in truth. A child. Still young, if his eyes were any indication. And while he might get older, and – by someone’s grace – wiser, he still seemed. . .hopeful. Of what, this Sesshoumaru did not care to know.

It was funny, Inuyasha thought with a wild grin, that when everything was over, there were some things that never changed. His brother’s condemningly cold-eyed stare, for one thing. Another was the fluid unsheathing of his sword, that pure note of metal singing as it slid free, the lethal gleam almost welcome, because it meant a fight. With Sesshoumaru. Against will and outward protestation, there was something exhilarating about fighting his pure-blooded brother. Maybe it was knowing firsthand how strong he was. Maybe it was knowing that maybe this time, he might prove that he was strong.

Maybe it was knowing that during all of their battles with each other, neither of them had struck the final blow.

That was what he couldn’t figure out. Then again, Inuyasha was grudgingly aware that Kagome had always been the smarter one, and could have probably given him a list of psycho-whatever-related reasons why neither had deigned to take that final step. But she was gone now, locked in her own time after the final fight with Naraku. Her home, as she’d stressed so many times in the past. ‘I’m going home, Inuyasha, and don’t you dare follow me!’ She’d say stuff like that when they were hunting for the Shikon shards. But he remembered her tear-filled eyes when she’d looked over her shoulder before stepping into the well that last time, and they both knew how true those words were. He couldn’t follow her, not anymore.

Now, it was like. . .everything kind of bled out. There was nothing to do. Nothing to fight. No one to hunt. And because Inuyasha hated being bored, and idle – it made him pity himself, and if he started he’d never stop until Kikyou was Kagome and his mother had never died – there was one last loose threat to pick at before his existence lost all meaning.

Sesshoumaru was still there. Still looking down on him.

Inuyasha gave a feral grin and tightened his grip on Tetsusaiga.

Some things never changed.

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The old saying ‘I can beat you with one arm tied behind my back’ was really starting to echo strangely in Inuyasha’s ears. The real pisser was that Sesshoumaru didn’t even have that arm to tie behind his back, since he’d cut it off ages ago. If only, only Inuyasha could go back in time to when he’d first discovered Tetsusaiga’s power in his father’s grave. . .he would never have cut off Sesshoumaru’s left arm.

He’d have cut off his sword arm instead, because now it was taking all he had to drive his elder brother back. Toukijin had already tasted his skin three times too many, and his own blood was cloyingly strong in his nostrils. Sesshoumaru was as pristine as ever, only his eyes showing any kind of change since the fight began. Where they had been coolly unamused to begin with, they were now narrowed into disdainful slits. He was growing bored.

Blows were exchanged, Inuyasha cursed, Sesshoumaru’s sword shone with the pinkish smear of hanyou blood. On and on it went.

With nothing on the line, no one to save, the fight was empty. What was he really trying to accomplish? Inuyasha didn’t know, but he was sure that he was likely being indulged for the simple reason that Sesshoumaru might just be as bored with the day as he. A slow, dulling sensation of clarity sapped the energy from him, leaving him standing there, resigned and sore as Sesshoumaru attacked again, swift and deadly as ever. Just what was he doing there?  

Inuyasha wasn’t one prone to bouts of depression, and was just irritating enough to scoff at the thought of suicide. The act would have saved the youkai lord a lot of hassle, but the fact remained that there were very few reasons why Inuyasha would drop his stance in the middle of a battle, especially against someone who was intent on the kill.

Narrowed golden eyes turned hard, but it didn’t hide the slight change in Toukijin’s striking angle.
      
Inuyasha couldn’t help but cry out as the blade passed through his chest, just below his right shoulder. Face contorting with pain, he brutally pulled himself off the blade, punching it aside and changing his grip on Tetsusaiga in favour of staunching the flow of blood. It would heal in a while. “Sesshoumaru, you bastard. . .that was a lucky shot!” He ground out, inwardly reeling that he’d been momentarily distracted in the first place. And, of course, the pain. Bloody fuck, did it hurt.

The youkai frowned mildly at Toukijin, and to Inuyasha it seemed like he was unhappy with the hanyou blood all over it. “Indeed, Inuyasha,” he said smoothly, “had the strike been any further to the left, you would be dead. It appears fortune was on your side.” But then, Sesshoumaru reflected, when hadn’t it been? Luck was all that had kept the fool alive all these years, even in an unnatural sleep for half a century. Why he hadn’t been gnawed on by local wildlife in that time was yet another mystery to lay at his feet. Even in this, his rare moment of indulgence when his half-brother had so obviously sought him out to begin a fight, only to lose interest partway through the battle. . .such actions were admittedly confusing, and killing the hanyou would not clear any of that up for him. So for now, he would withdraw. He could be spending his time more fruitfully elsewhere.
   
“Keh!” Inuyasha was scoffing, raising the fang and trying not to wince as the motion pulled at the wound. “Fighting me, you’re the one that’s going to need the luck. Tetsusaiga and I are going to kick your—what the fuck are you doing?!”

Sesshoumaru’s expression didn’t change as he sheathed his sword, and turned on his heel.

Then, he started walking away.

From the fight.

Inuyasha saw red. “Sesshoumaru! Don’t you walk away from me! Hey! What’re you scared or something?!”

He at least expected some kind of response to such an accusation, but there was nothing but his almost soundless footsteps away from the clearing where Inuyasha stood. Stunned speechless, he stared through dishevelled strands of white silver hair at the retreating back of his elder half-brother, Tetsusaiga dropping heavily to the grass. He nearly yelled out once more, just to make certain he wasn’t just fucking around with his head, but a strong throb of something like rejection stopped him, made him blink stupidly after him. He wasn’t even worth a fight to him anymore?

“Keh! More like he didn’t want to get his claws all dirty,” he muttered to himself, kneeling slightly to pick up and sheath Tetsusaiga. Feeling curiously angry at the world, he began to stomp away, ears twitching madly.

Still, the strange, lingering confusion stubbornly remained.

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It hadn’t yet been a month since it all ended.

For more than two years all their lives had revolved around Naraku and hunting the shards of the Shikon no Tama, driven in furious pursuit of their elusive enemy. Now, with his defeat at what seemed like the hands of everyone whom he’d ever wronged – even the mangy wolf, Kouga, had been there – life had ground to a screeching halt. For Inuyasha, at least. Kagome, with her role over, had taken the deadened Shikon no Tama and gone back to her own time. . .a parting that he barely wanted to think about anymore. It was Past. And it hurt like hell.
  
Kikyou had died with Naraku, what little of her that had still been alive. He’d never forget the grave beauty in her face as she wrapped her arms around the struggling hanyou, her holy powers scoring him even as her body began to crack and fall apart for the final time. They’d used the Shikon no Tama to wish her fragmented soul to a peaceful rest, at Inuyasha’s approval. It had been. . .hard, but it was right. Anything less would be pure selfishness, and he wanted that jewel out of their lives forever.

The rest was history. Kohaku was laid to rest in the taijiya village, before Miroku and Sango left together for whereabouts unknown. Shippou, torn between going with them and staying with Inuyasha, had tried to plead that he come with them. But why the hell would he? The last thing he wanted to do was hang out with them like it was old times, and think about the prayer beads resting around his neck like a shackle that could never be removed. So they’d gone, leaving behind an open invitation and a smile.

It was fine. They were happy, and Inuyasha was used to being by himself. He liked it that way.
Bullshit, some part of him spat brutally. You hated it before and you hate it now. Serves you right for acting so harshly while they were all still there. But now Kagome’s gone and you can’t stand to pretend there’s a chance she’ll come back. You’re alone now, and it’s terrible. That’s why you distract yourself by goading Sesshoumaru into yet another fight that will never be finished. That’s why he walked away, leaving you feeling like an attention-seeking idiot. You’re all by yourself, hanyou, and you’d better get used to it. You’re back to square one, and those last few years were just a dream.

The thoughts buffeted him more harshly than the night winds he was trying vainly to protect himself from, to no avail. This was the one night where he would not sleep, would not be safe. The sky was moonless, it was cold, and Inuyasha was human. Huddled against the sturdy trunk of a tree, hidden in the branches, he cradled Tetsusaiga’s sheath in his lap and tried not to block out the voice of truth that wouldn’t stay silent. Eight hours to go. Just eight more hours before sunrise. Tucking his hands deeper into the sleeves of his haori, he blew a lock of midnight black hair away from his mouth and settled back to wait out the dawn.

A high, frightened scream rent the air, startling him so badly he nearly fell out of the tree. “Shit!” He barked, dark violet eyes peering down at the ground to see where the sound had come from. He couldn’t see a thing with his useless human eyes though, not from his vantage point. Heart thundering, he thought fast. If he got down there—

The scream came again, followed by the snap of twigs and movement of something moving quickly over the forest foliage. Heading in his direction. Unease twisted his insides. He wasn’t weak like this, but. . .aw, hell. Scowling heavily at the inconvenience that something like this should happen on this particular night, he nimbly jumped down to one of the thicker, lower branches, and peered around. He could hear it clearly now, frightened whimpers colouring laboured panting. Small footsteps moving rapidly, cries of pain and snapping of twigs. Then, something that stopped him cold.

“Ss-sesshoumaru-sama!! Help me, Sesshoumaru-sama!!”

That voice sure as hell wasn’t the green toad, whatever his name was. It was the kid. Inuyasha backed off fast, content now to let her run by. If her being here meant Sesshoumaru was still looming somewhere, he couldn’t give a shit what happened to her. Let the bastard deal with it. Tucking his hands behind his head, he closed his eyes lazily and waited. Jeez, she was noisy. All that rustling was just giving away her position, smearing her scent all over the place. And the crying. . .

He shifted irritably. Man, he hated girls crying.

A short scream, and a hard thump. Closer this time. He imagined that even in this state, he could smell her terror, cold and sharp like ice. Where the hell was Sesshoumaru? At this rate, he’d be picking her up with chopsticks in the morning. Growling in annoyance, he figured that if no one was going to step in, he might as well try and do something. Just to shut her up.

So, when she finally burst through the bushes and started running past his tree, face scratched and tear-stained, Inuyasha leisurely reached down and snatched her from the ground. She let out a wail, legs kicking, before he thumped her down in his lap and covered her mouth. He craned his neck to see down at the ground, curious to see what had been tailing her. He nearly snickered when it emerged.

A skinny old wolf? That was it? Jeez, it wasn’t even a youkai. Why the hell didn’t she just climb a tree in the first place? Dumb kid. He watched as it stopped, momentarily confused as it scented the air. It circled the tree a few times before running off in search of new prey, probably heading for the nearby mountains it had come down from. Grinning, he looked down at the little, girl, ready to give her a tongue-lashing about making so much noise, when his smile slipped and died.

She was still sobbing, albeit silently, hands covering her ears and eyes tightly closed. And shaking. All this over some stupid— He uncertainly took his hand away from her mouth and poked her in the temple. “Oy. Stop it already.”

“S’it g-g-gone?” She asked, stumbling all over her words. Inuyasha resisted the strong urge to reply as if it were Shippou in his lap, certain that she wouldn’t respond too well to a good whack over the head. Damn, she was really making Tetsusaiga dig into his crotch. If she didn’t move soon—

“Yeah, it’s gone,” he snapped painfully, reaching under her to shift the sheath. “It can’t get you up here anyhow.” Oh, that was better.

Suddenly big brown eyes were looking closely into his, and little hands were pulling sharply on his hair for balance. Owfuck. Again, Inuyasha valiantly reigned in his temper. Her eyes were huge and shiny, and he could almost smell the wave of gratitude that was coming his way. Her mouth opened.

“Do you know where Sesshoumaru-sama is?”

His eyebrow twitched.

This was why he didn’t do hero business when he could avoid it. The troubles outweighed the benefits by far. “No, I don’t know where he is. Probably ditched you because you make so much noise. Why the hell are you here anyway? Where’s the toad?”

She’d started sniffling again, but perked up at that last. “Jaken-sama told Rin Sesshoumaru-sama wanted a five-leaf clover. Rin has been looking all day, but. . .” she started fumbling in her kimono, while Inuyasha tried in vain not to crack a grin. Five-leaf clover, was it? That was one wily toad. Damned if he was sorry he’d never tried that one on Shippou. A hand tugged his sleeve, and he looked down to see her mournful expression as she held out her hand. “All Rin could find were these.”

In her small palm were what looked to be three four-leaf clovers.
Well, shit.

“That’s a pretty crappy haul,” he said lazily. “But it’s okay. You’re a kid, and kids suck at finding things.” Her lower lip trembled a little as she put away her find, and clasped her hands in her lap shyly. Due to the way he’d grabbed her, she was sitting sideways in his lap, legs hanging down and kicking idly at thin air. He was resting along the length of the branch, back propped up against the trunk. Seven and a half hours to go. He was glad that she contained the ability to shut up and not move around much, because it allowed him to forget that she was there for a while. He shifted a little and closed his eyes, knowing he wasn’t going to sleep but hoping it might keep her quiet if she thought he was. His face smoothed out as he relaxed, eyelashes dark crescents on his cheeks, mouth devoid of his usual harried scowl.

A finger poked him lightly in the temple. “Are you sleeping?” She whispered. Inuyasha didn’t reply. She fell silent again, thankfully, and he was about to try to figure out how to meditate when she scooted closer in his lap and lay her head against his chest. Startled, he cracked an eye open and looked down at the top of her head curiously, then opened both. The kid wasn’t. . .was she sleeping on him? She was! Damn it, he wasn’t some kind of pillow for Sesshoumaru’s insane servant girl! He nearly dumped her out of his tree, just for the insult, but lost his bluster soon afterward. She might be nuts, following his half-brother like that, but she was still just a kid. And she must be pretty desperate for company if she followed him around. He could understand being that alone in the world. Though when he’d been small enough and stupid enough to think that his snob of a half-brother might actually help him, his hopes had been crushed quite quickly. Somewhere in between the words ‘filthy’ and ‘hanyou’ had that happened.

But he let this girl follow him around, and even bailed her out of trouble?  

After a while, he drew the conclusion that Sesshoumaru was a hypocrite. Inuyasha paused in his thoughts, mentally adding; and an asshole.

“Sesshoumaru-sama. . .” the girl murmured in her sleep, and smiled. Then she stirred a little, yawned, and looked up into his angry dark blue eyes. “Inuyasha-san? Can you take Rin to find Sesshoumaru-sama in the morning?”

He nearly fell out of the tree for real that time. “What?”

“Rin doesn’t really know where he went, and Inuyasha-san is a—”

“How do you know—what makes you think I’m Inuyasha?!” He broke in, staring at her in disbelief. They’d met like what, four times, and she could still pick him in his human form?

Rin blinked slowly. “You’re wearing Inuyasha-san’s clothes. And you have a sword like he does. Did you leave Inuyasha-san naked somewhere? Are you a robber?” The colour slowly began to leech from her face. “Are you a bandit?”

“NO, I’m not a damned bandit,” he nearly shouted, strangely feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on. “Leave Inuyasha-san – I mean me – alone.” Thank God in his hanyou form his hair was naturally silver—no one would be able to see all the grey hairs she was most likely giving him. “I’ll take you to my asshole brother in the morning, okay?” At the ass-crack of dawn, if he could manage it. When the first silver strand of hair appeared, they’d be out of there. This kid was a complete pill.

“That, will not be necessary,” a smooth voice replied below them. Inuyasha stiffened, staring straight ahead as panic blossomed beneath his ribs, even as Rin squealed in delight. Oh no. No. Not here. Not now. He barely felt the girl jump out of his lap; his body was too busy humming with fear and shock. If there was one thing he’d kept hidden from his enemies, a secret kept under lock and key, it was the one night he turned human. For years, he’d guarded that for fear it would get him killed, and because of some human brat who was too loud and too annoying, he’d forgotten for an instant that on this one night, he was as easy to kill as she.

And Sesshoumaru had just strolled on up to them, and was presently standing not three meters below him. Close enough to slap upside the head if he stretched. And he was looking at him. He could see that his silver hair was gone, replaced by midnight black. Could see that his vivid golden eyes were dark blue and wide with irrational fear. Could see that his white, triangular dog-ears had vanished from the top of his head, that his claws were gone, that his fangs were blunted into short human teeth. He took it in with one long sweep of his narrow golden eyes.

He knew.

Heart in his throat, Inuyasha thought he might drown in that silence. His hand gripped Tetsusaiga’s sheath so tightly he thought it might crack, but he couldn’t speak. There was nothing to say; even Sesshoumaru knew that, with his lips parted on cold words he wasn’t yet going to voice.
  
Then, his youkai half-brother’s hand slowly shifted, resting on Toukijin’s hilt.

And the hanyou Inuyasha did the only thing that he could.

He bolted.                


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